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Fantasy Breakdown

August 22, 2007   |   by Jared

This year, after much peer pressure from my friends, I caved in and joined a fantasy football league. Last night we drafted, and I thought you all might be a captive audience with which to share my sweet team. It was a auction-style draft where you spend 100 fake dollars bidding on all the players to fill your roster. Alright, here goes.First of all, my team name and logo can't be beat: Bad Newz Kennelz. In poor taste? Probably. And for those of you that know her, check out the strange resemblence between that poodle and my niece Eden.My draft choices:1. Shaun Alexander, runningback, Seattle, $26. First guy I drafted, spent a decent amount on him (not as much as my friend Dave who blew $51 on LT), but I felt like I was getting a good value for a top-ten back. In my 15 minutes of pre-draft research, everyone said getting good runningbacks was by far the most important thing. Besides, I like Mike Holmgren.2. Cedric Benson, runningback, Chicago, $16. I can't believe I drafted a Bear. But, everyone was overspending, it seemed, and this seemed like a good value for a feature back on a team that emphasizes the run game and has the worst quarterback in the history of the universe.3. Marvin Harrison, wide receiver, Indianapolis, $22. This might have been a little bet of a stretch moneywise, but c'mon, its Marvin Harrison. I knew I wanted to have at least one Colt, and Joseph Addai and Peyton Manning had already been purchased for massive amounts.4. Baltimore Ravens Defense, $8. I think this was a solid value.5. Jon Kitna, quarterback, Detroit, $9. I was pretty pleased with this pickup. Having never entertained hopes of paying enough to draft Peyton, I was secretly hoping to pick up either Marc Bulger or Jon Kitna. My head said Bulger but my heart said Kitna. I predict Kitna and the Lions offense will put up some gaudy numbers this year.6. Jamal Lewis, runningback, Baltimore, $2. In case Cedric Benson or Shaun Alexander aren't getting it done.7. Jeremy Shockey, tight end, New York Giants, $5. This dude has sweet hair. And, I confess, I am secretly fascinated with the Giants and the tribulations of Peyton's kid brother Eli.8. Andre Johnson, wide receiver, Houston, $4. Did I actually draft someone who plays for the Texans? Flame on. Truth be told, I've never even heard of this dude, but he was the highest ranked wide-out left at the time.9. J. P. Losman, quarterback, Buffalo, $1. Backup for Jon Kitna, as if I'd need one. I think he has a mustache sometimes.10. Joey Galloway, wide receiver, Miami, $1. My third wideout. Never really heard of him either.*** at this point in the draft I thought I'd quietly pick up Michael Turner from San Diego for a song, but Dave woke up from his Charger daydream and bid more than I could afford. Dang. I figured if LT was accidentally clubbed in the knee by Tonya Harding I would be golden. Then, I tried a similar move to pick up Adrian Peterson, and was outbid again.11. Shayne Graham, kicker, Cincinnati, $1. Best kicker left at this point.12. Brian Griese, quarterback, Chicago, $0.25. I think I did this just so I could say I told you so to my friend Josh when the Bears bench Rexxy after two weeks and 134 fumbled snaps. Plus, I have fond memories of watching Griese win the 1998 Rose Bowl in the flesh (thanks Dad). Go Blue!13. I know I drafted somebody else, but I forgot who it was.All in all, I feel like it was a strong showing. What do you think? Do I have a chance?

Posted in: misc

5 Comments

laura2007-08-23

Jordan is a little hurt that you couldn't pick up a single Panther... ;)

Sarah2007-08-23

oops...that is from me. i didn't notice that laura was logged in...

Rachel Henderson2007-08-23

Sarah - I would have loved to have drafted Steve Smith (he is a stud), but unfortunately Carolina has no quarterback to throw to him.

-jared

Sarah2007-08-24

ouch. that hurts. even if it's true.

Benjamin2007-08-25

Jared,

Sweet. I'm not sure you're allowed to draft players you've never heard of, though. Where's the scouting report?

BTW, Andre Johnson is a stud, he just plays for a crappy team.